d TUMBLES

mysticalandshit: comebacktothesea:boardwalks:mycrookedheart:thel...

Thu, 24 Sep 2009 02:52:51 -0400

comebacktothesea:boardwalks:mycrookedheart:thelovelybones:thatsfuckingcool:michaelkinchloe:paganpoetry:drawsjapan:coketalk

at a loss for words

Tue, 22 Sep 2009 01:11:48 -0400

i did some major mental dumping, and i lost it. it feels so lame to re-attempt typing out my thoughts again. but maybe i guess i’ll try.

it’s been a long while since i’ve put my thoughts in words. i’ve been stashing my thoughts all over the place, and so far they’ve all been found, so i figure this is the safest place for them, or so i think.

this past week, a close family friend has just past away due to liver cancer. it’s not the first death of a close one i’ve encountered in my life, if anything, i’ve grown to be all too familiar with it. death itself is not so scary, but the thought of the people who has to live on with the absence of that person, is all too heavy of a thought. but i’m still not quite sure of how to feel or what to say. i’ve been trying to search out for words to express my grief, condolences, sympathy, love, or whatever else u may use to label this mixed bag of emotions. as much as i wish had the words that could provide the slightest comfort to his wife and daughters, there’s nothing i could ever say, nothing, that will measure up to their loss. “It’s the tragedy of loving, you can’t love anything more than something you miss.”

when i lost the most favorite and beloved person in my life, despite how sincere ppl were with their grief, sympathy, condolences for my loss, i didn’t want to hear it. hearing it meant i’d have to feel it. there was just NOTHING they could ever say.

i just wish i had little microphones inside of me that could project the depths of my sorrows for their loss.

“What about little microphones? What if everyone swallowed them, and they played the sounds of our hearts through little speakers, which could be in the pouches of our overalls? When you skateboarded down the street at night you could hear everyone’s heartbeat, and they could hear yours, sort of like sonar. One weird thing is, I wonder if everyone’s hearts would start to beat at the same time, like how women who live together have their menstrual periods at the same time, which I know about, but don’t really want to know about. That would be so weird, except that the place in the hospital where babies are born would sound like a crystal chandelier in a houseboat, because the babies wouldn’t have had time to match up their heartbeats yet. And at the finish line at the end of the New York City Marathon it would sound like war.”

all this brings me back to my most favoritest book in the whole wide world, Incredibly Close & Extremely Loud (by Johnathan Saffran Foer), which reminded me of what it means to be human, to love, lose, love again, and live.

so here’s a few thoughts i’m left with at the moment:

- this couldn’t have been more true, “You cannot protect yourself from sadness without protecting yourself from happiness.” and this is why, “We need enormous pockets, pockets big enough for our families and our friends, and even the people who aren’t on our lists, people we’ve never met but still want to protect. We need pockets for boroughs and for cities, a pocket that could hold the universe.”

- i hope that i’m not one to say this, “I regret that it takes a life to learn how to live.”

i realized it’s not that i’m incapable of loving, but rather “… I’m so afraid of losing something I love that I refuse to love anything”.

inflatable bag monsters brought to life with a wisk of urban...

Fri, 18 Sep 2009 03:14:20 -0400

inflatable bag monsters brought to life with a wisk of urban air.

"everybody poops and everybody dies"

Fri, 18 Sep 2009 03:12:55 -0400

““everybody poops and everybody dies””

- http://www.dieselsweeties.com

puntosdevista: Osea despues de ver esto lo pienzo dos veces...

Fri, 21 Aug 2009 20:38:30 -0400

puntosdevista:

Osea despues de ver esto lo pienzo dos veces antes de tomarme el cafecito

mirziyob:

necestio tomar unos de estos
deadwildcat:itsnotthatserious:awesomerandomness:

(via maluna)

too cute to consume!

UKELELE IS RAAAAAAAAAD!

Fri, 21 Aug 2009 20:32:24 -0400

UKELELE IS RAAAAAAAAAD!

d wants some nacho supreme w/ uuuuber hawt jalepeños & tapatio sauce

Fri, 21 Aug 2009 20:31:18 -0400

BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAADLY!

clavicula: (via mothlarvae) I’M TRYING! D:

Fri, 21 Aug 2009 20:29:55 -0400

clavicula:

(via mothlarvae)

I’M TRYING! D:

clavicula: (via flickflickflicker)

Fri, 21 Aug 2009 20:28:18 -0400

clavicula:

(via flickflickflicker)

fuckyeahtattoos: I am trying to break your heart.

Fri, 21 Aug 2009 20:28:05 -0400

fuckyeahtattoos:

I am trying to break your heart.

gridlockcaravans: (via katiekatie)

Fri, 21 Aug 2009 20:26:34 -0400

gridlockcaravans:

(via katiekatie)

(via funeralface) note from d: what a cute mat? that one...

Fri, 21 Aug 2009 19:43:15 -0400

(via funeralface)

note from d: what a cute mat? that one won’t get stepped all over. hahahhaa…

(via precipice)

Fri, 21 Aug 2009 19:26:54 -0400

(via precipice)

d is setting a movie date for this cuz it’s drawing closer...

Fri, 21 Aug 2009 19:24:00 -0400

d is setting a movie date for this cuz it’s drawing closer jumpin’ w/ excitement wanna join me in my droptop (aka a bike)???

how cute

Fri, 21 Aug 2009 19:22:27 -0400

it’s been 2 jillion years since i’ve been on tumblr, i’ve put one post, and i’ve got a tumblarity of 1. one is a cute number, if only it would stay that way.

i'm hooked on farmtown

Fri, 21 Aug 2009 19:18:55 -0400

wanna be my neighbor?

(via 2rich2poor)

Sun, 19 Jul 2009 05:05:07 -0400

(via 2rich2poor)

"Everything is a self-portrait. A diary. Your whole drug history’s in a strand of your hair. Your..."

Sun, 19 Jul 2009 04:05:09 -0400

“Everything is a self-portrait. A diary. Your whole drug history’s in a strand of your hair. Your fingernails. The forensic details. The lining of your stomach is a document. The calluses on your hand tell all your secrets. Your teeth give you away. Your accent. The wrinkles around your mouth and eyes. Everything you do shows your hand.”

- Chuck Palahniuk (via likesbears)

artpixie:kristacaballero:dottumblr:stuckwithpins:artpixie:Лепрозо...

Sun, 19 Jul 2009 03:04:38 -0400

artpixie:kristacaballero:dottumblr:stuckwithpins:artpixie:Лепрозорий / Убежище on vi.sualize.us

KONTI NA LANG ~X(

=)))))) CUTE

HAHA. Nakakabobo naman =))

CLASH - It’s gonna be OK

Sun, 19 Jul 2009 02:02:27 -0400

CLASH - It’s gonna be OK

d TUMBLES

mysticalandshit: comebacktothesea:boardwalks:mycrookedheart:thel...

at a loss for words

inflatable bag monsters brought to life with a wisk of urban...

"everybody poops and everybody dies"

puntosdevista: Osea despues de ver esto lo pienzo dos veces...

UKELELE IS RAAAAAAAAAD!

d wants some nacho supreme w/ uuuuber hawt jalepeños & tapatio sauce

clavicula: (via mothlarvae) I’M TRYING! D:

clavicula: (via flickflickflicker)

fuckyeahtattoos: I am trying to break your heart.

gridlockcaravans: (via katiekatie)

(via funeralface) note from d: what a cute mat? that one...

(via precipice)

d is setting a movie date for this cuz it’s drawing closer...

d is setting a movie date for this cuz it’s drawing closer *jumpin’ w/ excitement* wanna join me in my droptop (aka a bike)???

how cute

i'm hooked on farmtown

(via 2rich2poor)

"Everything is a self-portrait. A diary. Your whole drug history’s in a strand of your hair. Your..."

artpixie:kristacaballero:dottumblr:stuckwithpins:artpixie:Лепрозо...

CLASH - It’s gonna be OK

d is setting a movie date for this cuz it’s drawing closer jumpin’ w/ excitement wanna join me in my droptop (aka a bike)???