mysticalandshit:

comebacktothesea:boardwalks:mycrookedheart:thelovelybones:thatsfuckingcool:michaelkinchloe:paganpoetry:drawsjapan:coketalk

i did some major mental dumping, and i lost it. it feels so lame to re-attempt typing out my thoughts again. but maybe i guess i’ll try.

it’s been a long while since i’ve put my thoughts in words. i’ve been stashing my thoughts all over the place, and so far they’ve all been found, so i figure this is the safest place for them, or so i think.

this past week, a close family friend has just past away due to liver cancer. it’s not the first death of a close one i’ve encountered in my life, if anything, i’ve grown to be all too familiar with it. death itself is not so scary, but the thought of the people who has to live on with the absence of that person, is all too heavy of a thought. but i’m still not quite sure of how to feel or what to say. i’ve been trying to search out for words to express my grief, condolences, sympathy, love, or whatever else u may use to label this mixed bag of emotions. as much as i wish had the words that could provide the slightest comfort to his wife and daughters, there’s nothing i could ever say, nothing, that will measure up to their loss. “It’s the tragedy of loving, you can’t love anything more than something you miss.”

when i lost the most favorite and beloved person in my life, despite how sincere ppl were with their grief, sympathy, condolences for my loss, i didn’t want to hear it. hearing it meant i’d have to feel it. there was just NOTHING they could ever say.

i just wish i had little microphones inside of me that could project the depths of my sorrows for their loss.

“What about little microphones? What if everyone swallowed them, and they played the sounds of our hearts through little speakers, which could be in the pouches of our overalls? When you skateboarded down the street at night you could hear everyone’s heartbeat, and they could hear yours, sort of like sonar. One weird thing is, I wonder if everyone’s hearts would start to beat at the same time, like how women who live together have their menstrual periods at the same time, which I know about, but don’t really want to know about. That would be so weird, except that the place in the hospital where babies are born would sound like a crystal chandelier in a houseboat, because the babies wouldn’t have had time to match up their heartbeats yet. And at the finish line at the end of the New York City Marathon it would sound like war.”

all this brings me back to my most favoritest book in the whole wide world, Incredibly Close & Extremely Loud (by Johnathan Saffran Foer), which reminded me of what it means to be human, to love, lose, love again, and live.

so here’s a few thoughts i’m left with at the moment:

- this couldn’t have been more true, “You cannot protect yourself from sadness without protecting yourself from happiness.” and this is why, “We need enormous pockets, pockets big enough for our families and our friends, and even the people who aren’t on our lists, people we’ve never met but still want to protect. We need pockets for boroughs and for cities, a pocket that could hold the universe.”

- i hope that i’m not one to say this, “I regret that it takes a life to learn how to live.”

i realized it’s not that i’m incapable of loving, but rather “… I’m so afraid of losing something I love that I refuse to love anything”.

inflatable bag monsters brought to life with a wisk of urban air.

puntosdevista:

Osea despues de ver esto lo pienzo dos veces antes de tomarme el cafecito

mirziyob:

necestio tomar unos de estos

deadwildcat:itsnotthatserious:awesomerandomness:

(via maluna)

too cute to consume!

UKELELE IS RAAAAAAAAAD!

BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAADLY!

clavicula:

(via mothlarvae)

I’M TRYING! D:

clavicula:

(via flickflickflicker)

fuckyeahtattoos:

I am trying to break your heart.